The DoTA 2 Movies
by Stromguarde
Summary: Two very different movie writers are put in the DoTA 2 universe and are tasked to create a movie within the shortest possible time.


It's been a long time since the fundamentals hired a movie writer to create some movie about DoTA 2 and they've done it again. This time though, it's different as they hired two people for the job – A satirical writer and one who uses cliché plotlines.

They are The Writer and Marshall respectively and the two are led to a quiet room to get prepared for the upcoming movie each of them will make.

The fundamentals left them to think about the plot in their respective movies.

It took a while of silence when The Writer stood up and walked over to his companion who was doing nothing but playing some games on his phone. He tapped the other one's back "You're not going to think of a decent storyline?"

Marshall put down the phone slowly and ran a hand over his bald head and ended it in a facepalm of some sort "I'm the Marshall and people will love my movies even if I recycled the same old plotline over and over and over again"

"What makes you think that?" The Writer said, wondering.

"You see, people nowadays just don't care about storylines anymore and only care about the actors and actresses that will lead the movie. You're still too young, you haven't knew it yet" Marshall responded.

The Writer fell silent. Marshall is already a middle-aged man while he is only a young adult. If only he didn't find clichés as boring then he would have believed him but no. He didn't become a satirical writer for nothing.

"It's been some time writing satirical novels that target the government, I only got to write a few satirical movies and all are action themed… The main character died because he was shot and the villain wasn't stupid so many people thought it's lame…"

"Ahh look at my movies, ever noticed that I create the same things again and again and yet people never get tired of it?"

The Writer turned around slowly before responding "Makes a lot of sense… So is that why you're not going to plan a movie and just create one on the spot? The fundamentals said our movies should be romance-themed, right?"

"Yes and another yes, kid" Marshall resumed fidgeting with his phone leaving The Writer to head back to a provided desk and sat, thinking about the plot he's going to do.

"Hey Marshall" The Writer called out "I'm going to use Crystal Maiden and Yurnero in my movie"

"You can't use them, I'll be using them too and the pros just had to go first, you know"

"I watched your movies and you could just pick another set of characters, I think it's time for them to star in my satirical story so I could attack your movies head-on"

"Critics never had a chance against me, kid" Marshall had a devious grin on his face as he squinted his eyes at The Writer "Say what you want against my movies, the people will love it anyway. And I would score extra points if I use those two in my movie… I think you already know what I'm talking about"

"I'm gonna have to use the two of them in my movie. I'm just gonna use them once and you could do whatever you want with them afterwards this silly competition"

"Why don't we turn this into a deal?"

"What kind of deal?"

Marshall cleared his throat before speaking "I would get Crystal while you get Yurnero, how about that?"

The Writer immediately knew something's going on why Marshall only gave him permission to use Yurnero as a character yet he couldn't know what is it "What are you planning to do?"

"Use her as a character of course. Why don't we settle this in another way, I suggest we call them to go here and check things out. They could them decide which type of stories they could participate in"

The Writer thought about it for a short while before finally agreeing on the matter. Both of them had to use the basic characters and now it's only a matter on who gets to air his movie first "I accept the deal, you go call them here"

"As you wish, kid, let's settle this once and for all" Marshall began dialing some numbers on his phone and began talking through someone on the other line while The Writer could do no more than plan a very unique storyline by subverting every cliché Marshall uses in his annoying movies.

Sooner, a black limo parked outside the building the two writers are currently in.

Legions of bodyguards in some dark armor wielding assault rifles came rushing out and forming a barricade around the back door of the vehicle. Marshall and The Writer could only look at it in wonder.

The back door of the limo opened to reveal everyone's most-awaited DoTA 2 female character, wearing the most extravagant dress and some random black aviators.

As they were doing some miscellaneous things outside, the sound of a helicopter is beginning to be heard from the inside of the structure.

"These guys sure are rich…" Marshall said to himself as both writers look up the ceiling as if the helicopter was about to land there "They must be so damn popular like all people believe they were"

The Writer looked at his companion in a weird way before turning his attention to the ceiling too "Superstars…"

Not too soon, footsteps are heard from the upper floor to reveal everyone's favorite hero, wearing a high-class tuxedo and some random black aviators. Unlike Rylai – who's still outside, Yurnero isn't surrounded by bodyguards and didn't have anyone coming down near him. It's whether his bodyguards are left with the helicopter on the roof' he could easily defend himself or he just doesn't have any guards.

The two writers greeted the man from near the stairs in which Yurnero responded in a light bow "I heard I'm going to star again in a movie in the making?" He said as he passed by them and sat on a luxurious couch nearby. How the couch appeared there, neither one has no idea.

"He really knows about movies eh?" Marshall whispered to The Writer in which he responded with a light nod.

"I see you two also called Crystal…" Yurnero said, crossing his legs and staring out the window.

"Is she really this slow when it comes to meetings?" The Writer asked "In fact, she arrived a little earlier and is still outside"

"She really tends to exploit her fame since she knows neither the two of you could start without her"

"She's good…" Marshall whispered again as he moved off to stare at the other character outside "And a little too annoying…" Then he left for the comfort room.

"So the fundamentals announced that you two are going to create separate movies about us? So what's the plan?" Yurnero said as he eyed The Writer.

"Are you two together? Like dating or such" The Writer walked closer and sat on some wooden bench that just appeared out of nowhere "Are the things people assume, right?"

"Don't tell the fans but we're not really that close"

"Oh really, but I read a lot of fiction and short films and they ship you two. The fans won't like it. Crystal had changed a lot in the past years"

"Change? What change are you talking about? Isn't she the naïve pretty-face everyone knows she is?"

"She used to be like that when she first came here. Sooner, movie and fiction writers noticed her and began recruiting her and being paired up with Sven. Those were the days and she was still the naïve pretty-face back then. Her acting career started to skyrocket since then as there's no other female character like her in here to compare and there's no other pretty-face available so… yeah"

"What about you?"

"People soon got over with Sven and they started pairing her with me, at first I thought everything would be fine and her personality will still be the same like the days before she started her career but no… She became arrogant and short-tempered. Deny an order from her and you'll see the consequences. She's a lot scarier than you think, but still not too scary to the point of murdering someone. It will ruin her career of course"

"So you're saying she's now a lot more than her sister?"

"Lina changed over time too. When Crystal's just a naïve pretty-face,Lina's the arrogant one. Since Ice got her career and got world-famous, Fire is left alone in a corner"

"They switched personalities? Interesting… So how long will she stand outside chatting with the bodyguards?" The Writer peeked through the window "So you're saying that she doesn't care being so arrogant? That's the cause why people get irritated by actors and actresses, is it not?"

"Sort of, but I don't really know… Like I said before, there's no other pretty-face available. Make this meeting direct to the point as soon as she enters. It will only take a little while before she explodes"

"Explode?"

"Figure of speech. Now go ahead and tell the dark man the things he might need to know"

As The Writer left, Yurnero peeked again through the window. He had already seen Rylai in full anger towards some fiction writer and he doesn't want to risk being a target. He knows she will come cool at first but slowly build off at annoyances and then lash out like most high-ranking airheaded actors and actresses.

Soon after, the two writers are finished with their conversation when they spotted Yurnero waving a hand like a maniac, getting their attention.

"She's preparing to enter! You two must be as polite as possible!" Yurnero stood and ran to the side of the door and commanded the two writers to stand beside him.

The door opened, and several men entered the building and looked around. A next batch entered soon after and scanned the surroundings using some laser scanner. Yet a next batch entered and rolled a red carpet all the way into the middle of them room. The batch after that escorted Rylai inside like some sort of queen.

A whistle is heard and all bodyguards went into the corners of the room and stood there, acting like CCTV cameras.

Silence filled the room thereafter as the three men proceeded to sit around some table – that just appeared out of nowhere.

Rylai sat cross-legged on the table and gestured for them to sit down on the chairs that also magically appeared there.

"I think you already know about the fundamentals tasking us to create a movie" Marshall started.

"Yes, I know about that, so I'll be the lead again and do some pro acting. What's the story anyway?" Rylai said nicely, despite what Yurnero's saying about her.

"We would like to know on whose movie would you like to star in first, a satirical or a cliché one?" Marshall asked.

"Yeah sure bring it on, I can do any story anyway so yeah, what do I need to do"

Marshall looked at the other writer "I can sense the truth about grand moviestars in here" he whispered to him.

"So what do I need to do?"

"You need to pick which one's movie you would like to star in first"

Rylai sighed and shook her head "I'll go with the satirical movie first, then the other next. So you think I can't handle both? You're wrong" She then removed her glasses and glared at The Writer and Marshall next.

Marshall cleared his throat before speaking "My story would go like this. I would start off with the basic good girl and bad boy classic. Yurnero here will be part of a Gang – that isn't really a gang and only more like a fraternity, and you will be everyone's hated person and many of them pick on you because you're ugly-"

"So you're saying that they find my face as ugly?"

"Technically it's only made for the watchers to feel sympathy for you. Nothing bad will happen anyway to you and those who hate you will soon know it's wrong to mess with you and everything will turn straighter and the cute boy you will meet will help set things right. You two will go through hardships of him being in a gang and he will have to save you from the enemy gangsters and the trouble you're experiencing in your home from your stepmother and your stepsister. Yurnero will help you go through all this and the lesson will be that if you keep dreaming, your life will eventually get better and it will teach that perfect lesson" Marshall finished his sentence with a chuckle of amazement.

Rylai raised one eyebrow curiously while Yurnero facepalmed.

The Writer, too, facepalm ed upon hearing Marshall's 'moral lesson' "Perhaps it's now time for me to explain what my movie is all about. As I said before, it's only a subverted version of Marshall's story earlier and it will start this way…" The Writer cleared his throat "Gender Reversal good boy and bad girl for the rest of the story like Marshall's but the main male character actually suffers from the psychological damage done by bullying unlike yours-" The Writer glared at Marshall upon saying those "-And the girl being in a gang is actually a gang where they commit crimes against the law-" He once again glared at Marshall "-And there will be no stepmother stepsister madness going on as they act like real adults and accept the little sister-" Another glare at Marshall "-And meeting some pretty lady won't fix your problems and the main character refuses to start relationships of any kind and remained just friends with the girl-" Glare at Marshall "-And they keep their friendship a secret until said bad girl gives up life of being a gangster and changes for the better" The Writer took one deep breath "Its moral lesson focuses on friendship instead of the must-have boyfriend you always seem to teach the youths, Marshall"

"Say whatever you want, The Writer, I'm afraid I will still dominate over you satirists" Marshall said full of confidence.

"I have to say…" Rylai raised a hand, causing a bodyguard to come with a small box in which she deposited her phone that she's been fidgeting all throughout the explanations "Realistic versus clichéd?"

"I would rather go with realistic first" Yurnero crossed his arms as he spoke "Seems rather unique to me so yeah I'll go with realistic"

"Isn't there any airconditioning in here? So you two really need to have your meetings in an old warehouse?" Rylai spat out in an irritated tone which caused another bodyguard to come with some refreshments for the movie star.

"Don't you have cryo-" Marshall was cut off as Yurnero nudged his shoulder at him, prompting the movie writer to stop.

"So, Crystal, we go by realistic?" Rylai nodded at Yurnero's words.

"So we have our agreement! Shall we start? Perhaps it's time to go to the place where we would shoot this thing!" The Writer stood excitedly, as if announcing Marshall's defeat straight to his face in which Marshall responded with only a devious grin.

As Rylai started walking slowly towards the door, her bodyguards formed yet another barricade protecting her from all directions. Marhsall, Yurnero, and The Writer trailed behind them.

The shooting of the two movies had gone smoothly as imagined and the fundamentals set a certain viewing date for the both of the movies. Since The Writer's story was the first to be shot, it was the first to go and the rest of the DoTA 2 cast watched in silence despite how realistic the scenes were. It was even labeled as a documentary by others, much to the wondering of The Writer.

When Marshall's movie was screened, everyone started off as silent too. The only difference is when the first cheesy scenes are shown and the cinema is filled with noises of admiration of both the movie itself and its pairing.

In the end, when the movie time is over, Marshall – with his reward money, walked off to find The Writer leaned over to a lamp post in silence – beside their car, as if wondering how he lost considering that Marshall's movie didn't even had the tiniest bit of realism in it. It was already dark and Marshall doesn't know how long he had been there.

"Hey" He called out to the other writer, in which he responded with another 'hey'.

"Curious how did my stupid story win?"

"I was practically very curious about it, how did you pull it off?"

"In terms of romance stories, most people nowadays hated story sense; they just want the cheesy events between their favorite character pairings. I had to say it's kind of weird but it's awfully true. Only satirists like you could get irritated by that… So are you ready to abandon creating satirical stories and join the cliché army?"

"I only write for fun and will stay a satirist even if people find it weird, it just shows that they don't know what a satirist is"

"It's Crystal who carried the movie into success. She's the staple character of every fiction or film related to this world. You can either be part of it, or you could be left behind"

The Writer sighed "I just want unique plots, I have a strange addiction to satires and I couldn't help enjoying them"

Marshall chuckled "No wonder cliché writers find your stories offensive to them. Haters gotta hate then… Let's just go home and pretend it never happened okay?" The Writer nodded.

Marshall threw a small green blob to the ground, releasing green gas from it. It enveloped them and they disappeared as the smoke cleared.


End file.
